06 July 2011

ahhh... those kids

no explanation needed here... highlights of a core77 discussion board:

Everything Jonathan Ive touches turns to Brushed Aluminum.

Jonny Ive uses Time Machine to roll back history and create new production processes for iPhones that didn't even exist five seconds ago.

Jonny Ive invented the fillet.

On the 7th day, Jonny Ive created iGod.

Jonathan Ive's iPhone turns white in the presence of Orcs.

Jonny Ive has only 17 chromosomes. Coincidently the same number of chromosomes in an Apple.

There is actually a nano-sized clone of Jonny Ive's heart inside every MacBook that makes the power light "beat" when asleep.

Jonny Ive's handwriting is 14 point Helvetica.

Jonny Ive's haircut is CNC machined.

Anyone within a 20 mile radius of Jonny Ive is capable of brilliant Design Thinking.

Jonny Ive sneezed into a tissue and unfolded it to reveal the dimensioned drawings of the first Imac.

Jonny Ive and Steve Jobs can never present a keynote at the same time because their combined reality distortion fields would level Cupertino.

Jonny Ive designed the end of the Infinite Loop

Jonny Ive blew into the headphone port of the Iphone and prototyped the first Ipad.

Jonny Ive only eats food off rectangular plates at a ratio of 1.61 : 1

Jonny Ive makes all his presentations in Garage Band.

Jonathan Ive once had a staring contest with an aluminium billet. Liquid metal was the result.

Jonny Ive can pinch-to-zoom with one finger.

Jonny Ive has never used Command+Z.

Jonny Ive uses his monstrous Apple salary to keep Dieter Rams in cryogenic storage, thawing him out only twice a year, usually on a Wednesday.

Jonny Ive can mill an aluminium block with his fingertips to a tolerance of +/- 0.00000000001".

Jonny Ive would have caught the antenna issue with the iPhone 4 if he knew how to hold anything wrong.

Jonny Ive walked into a round room, and sat in the corner.

Jonny Ive has counted how many licks it takes to get to the center of a toosie pop. Twice.

Jonny Ive is so good at keeping his projects under wraps his wife didn't even know they were having children until Steve Jobs showed the ultrasounds in a Keynote.

Jonny Ive didn't buy a Scott Wilson Tik Tok, because Jonny's Nano hovers 1mm off his wrist without any attachments.

Jonny Ive never has to use the Genius button in iTunes.

Jonny Ive has designed 9 completely unique fasteners that have no external fasteners.

Jonny Ive has never had to repeat a level of Angry Birds on his iPhone.

Jonny Ive listens to bands on iTunes that haven't even formed yet.

Jonny Ive charges his iPhone with solar power, at night.

Every time Jonny Ive eats an apple an angel gets his wings.

unnecessary things

every now and then i see designs for clocks that offer new ways of telling time. many  times these clocks are heavily designed ... you know, over designed... stylized shapes and mechanisms that lead to intriguing objects but poor time pieces... what's wrong with how time is measured now? ... i keep looking at these clocks in search of a valid reason for creating a new way of communicating time... the search never ends well. i always go back to the design of mondaine watches and hope that every time piece was as good. the purpose of mondaine watche's is simply to tell time effectively. no grand ideas of telling time differently... just easier, clearer, better.

the "lean" chair/table  was recently featured in core77. this object is supposed to "challenge the limitations of urban space" ... what a nice challenge, i thought. so the solution is a piece that is unstable by itself and completely dependent on the urban space it tries to challenge. if i need to sit on it, i need two walls to rest it against, leaving me confined to a corner. if i need a table i need to make sure that i add weight to one of the sides so that it doesn't tip over and i also need to watch out for those pointy corners... if i really need to challenge urban space, i don't need to come up with an overcomplicated design in order to succeed. take a simple box, for example... it can serve as a table, a chair, a bookshelf... it doesn't need walls or special surroundings.... and for aesthetics, it can be as clean and beautiful as i want it to be.

i recently bought a pair of shorts. i'm in love with them, mostly because they are so simple. I analyze their components and find no excess... no unnecessary details, decorations or components.  they were very inexpensive, too. i can imagine the design brief: nice shorts under ten dollars. it's so nice to see the work of a designer that didn't turn inexpensive into cheap. just get rid of the unnecessary details that increase need for materials, production and complexity.  in contrast to these clean, simple shorts, i just spent over an hour fixing a pair of pants. i bought them some time ago and even with their lightweight fabric they have become impossible to wear in the summer weather. after a closer inspection i realized the ridiculous amount of unnecessary elements that these pants have.  i cut and trimmed layers and layers of fabric around the pockets, seams, etc. i ended up removing over half a pound of unnecessary fabric. as i was re-sewing the pants, i kept thinking about how could the designer of this pants got away with a design that is wasteful and makes users unhappy.